


the undone

by Pomfry



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, And honestly I respect that, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Bella is very angry unless she's around her friends and family, Bisexual Character, Erica is so in love, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/F, Lesbian Character, Light Angst, cursing, the ace aro is the same person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 22:24:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14680704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomfry/pseuds/Pomfry
Summary: She's born an elegant swan, with muscles in her wings and anger a fire in her blood. She's born a bird, with white wings and black eyes.She's born a swan, but she doesn't stay that way.





	the undone

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Mother's Day! ....Late Mother's Day.
> 
> Listen, this is like 12,000 words long and I started it on Friday, what do you want from me?
> 
> But!! I had a lot of fun writing this, and a lot of fun making up the characters! I really adore them, haha. The lesbian swan, the disaster bisexual, and the long--suffering acearo.
> 
> I dedicate this to all of my mother figures in my life - my mom, stepmom, my aunt. You're all so insanely awesome and I adore you all!
> 
> Enjoy!

She's born a bird, born an elegant swan with pure white feathers and a unimaginable amount of will. When she is young – she didn't count the years, not unlike the other swans – she is cursed by a witch to have humanity in the wintry months.  
  
The witch is young and full of burning anger, with glowing eyes and hair the color of ice. Her hair flies around her face as she curses the swan, and her magic is like death, like freezing and dying and rising again.  
  
_I curse you,_ she shrieks, and the swan freezes in her path. _I curse you._  
  
Before the swan could object, could ask why she is being cursed, the witch disappears in a whirl of wind, leaving the swan to stare at the imprint on the grass.  
  
The swan shrugs it off until-  
  
Until the first frost creeps in. Until she wakes up, cold and alone by the river bank, human hands and feet and long black hair. Her skin is dark – the color of the dirt – and she has patches of a lighter shade of brown that speckles her skin. A dress of white adorns her, goes down to her thighs, and her muscles are withered down to nothing.  
  
That, more than anything, makes her rage.

  
  
\--

  
  
She wanders the first month, toes cold on the grass, and sleeps on benches. She gets stared at, gets whistled at, and she snarls at them as she marches past.  
  
She spends time with those living on the streets, as she is as well. People come up to her, asking if she’s willing to be paid. She swings at them, thumb inside her fist as instructed by a kind man at the beginning, and chases them off, blood in her grin and fury in her veins. She is a swan, a violent one at that. She will not be _paid_ to participate in something she finds abhorrent.  
  
She finds food in trash cans, learns to differentiate between the ones that will make her sick and ill. Her dress gets shredded and her feet tough. Her hair gets tangled and a girl sits with her, brushing it and murmuring apologies when it gets caught on the bristles.  
  
A man with curly blond hair and blue and green eyes asks for her name when she comes up to them, her hard earned muscles shining in the melted snow, and she can’t give him a answer. Her name isn’t translatable to human language. He smiles, touches her hand.  
  
“How about Bella?” he asks, and she nods, unable to protest. It fits her.  
  
“Bella,” she says, trying it out. It rolls off her tongue, makes her grin. “I like it.”  
  
He laughs. “I’m glad. It was my grandmother’s name. You look like her a little.”  
  
Bella wonders if she was cursed as well. “Did she like swans?”  
  
“Oh yes,” he says, and he looks delighted to talk about his grandmother. “She adored them, knew all about them. She told me that swans aren’t to be messed with and that the old stories of swans being delicate were all lies. I have a healthy respect for them!” He chuckles, low and warm. “Grandad always said that her loving him was the best thing that ever happened to him.”  
  
Bella blinks. Perhaps she decided to stay a human. Bella couldn’t understand why, though. The human world is full of smog and death. She much prefers being a swan.  
  
“I see,” she says, although she doesn’t at all.

  
\--

  
Spring comes and with it, her feathers. Her wings are back, and she takes flight with a joy that she’s never felt before. How can humans stay like that, bolted to the ground? Bella doesn’t know.  
  
“You’re back, you’re back!” cheers her sisters, and Bella rejoices with them, lifting her wings and walking on the grass.  
  
“I’m back!” she agrees, and tries to laugh. It comes out as a hacking cough, and her sisters crowd around her, concerned.  
  
“Are you okay?” asks one.  
  
“I’m fine,” Bella croaks. “I just –“  
  
She wanted to laugh the way she was used to after four months, is all. She tries to grin reassuringly at them but finds she can’t do that either. “I’m fine,” she says again, more firmly. “Let us go.”  
  
They all flap their wings and fly, circling the air and just roaming. Bella sees the man who gave her her name and sweeps down to watch him. A woman stands in front of him, her brow furrowed as she talks. Her hair is the same sandy color as the man’s and just as curly, but it’s long and held in a ponytail. She’s probably taller than Bella is when she’s human. She’s wearing a dress that flows around her knees, and it’s a light blue that’s stained from grass. She’s wearing a type of shoe with it – black.  
  
She is beautiful, Bella thinks, and gets closer to hear her.  
  
“-dammit, Jack, when did you plan to tell me you were living on the streets?” She sounds tired, Bella can’t help but notice, and she’s frowning heavily. “I thought we agreed to tell each other if something goes wrong.”  
  
Jack just looks sheepish. “I lost my job and – you always have so much on your hands, Erica, that I didn’t want to bother you when I thought I could get a new job without much trouble.”  
  
“It didn’t happen,” Erica says, dry as dust, and Jack laughs, rubbing at his cheek.  
  
“No,” he agrees without shame. “It didn’t. But I have a new job and I’m gonna bunk with a friend of mine until I get enough money for an apartment.”  
  
Bella wonders why he needs money, why he didn’t call Erica. She certainly doesn’t need money – she tears it up with glee.  
  
Then again, she is a swan. And humans play by different rules than swans.  
  
“I just.” Erica sighs heavily. “Jack, I swear you’re going to be the death of me.”  
  
“Ah, you love me anyways,” he replies, and leans to the right when she swipes at him.  
  
Bella tucks her feet under her, ruffling her feathers. Humans are so weird, she thinks, but Erica –  
  
Erica is so, so pretty.  
  
“Hey,” says one of her sisters, “why are you watching humans?”  
  
Bella keeps her eyes on the bickering pair. “Don’t you think she’s pretty?”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Her,” Bella says, waving a wing. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?  
  
Her sister squints. “She looks the same as every other human,” she says dismissively, and Bella almost squawks in indignation.  
  
“The _same?”_  
  
“Humans look the same,” her sister says, shaking her head  
  
“Erica is – is –“ Bella doesn’t have any words to explain just how _pretty_ Erica is, so she settles for a incomprehensible sound.  
  
Erica is the most beautiful human Bella has ever seen.  
  
She hopes she’ll come back for winter.

  
\--

Summer passes and Jack gets an apartment, coming and going and laughing on the phone with Erica. Bella keeps an eye on him, just in case someone messes with him.  
  
He gave her a _name._ Bella doesn’t want anything to happen to him.  
  
Autumn comes and Bella is on the edge of her perch, feeling – excited for winter. Before, she would dread it, but now –  
  
Well. With the promise of being able to talk to Erica, she welcomes it with open wings.  
  
Her sisters whisper about her infatuation with this human, whisper and gossip about how she turned away every male who tried to court her. They whisper about how she only responds to Bella now, how she watches a man every day.  
  
Bella – doesn’t care. They will whisper regardless, and she has never given much attention to them.  
  
When the first ice comes, Bella wakes up as a human with a torn dress and muscles, and she stands, grinning.  
  
“Erica,” she says, and she loves the way it rolls off her tongue. “Er-i-ca.”  
  
“Wha – _Bella?”_  
  
Bella turns, blinking wide eyes at Jack. He’s bundled up in a coat and scarf and she’s wearing nothing but feathers. “Bella, what are you doing here? Why are you dressed so – so thinly? It’s like ten degrees out here!” He starts to take off his coat, his cheeks red from the cold, and wraps it around her shoulders. Bella’s hands come up to grasp at it automatically, pulling it closer around her chest. He gives her a once over, grabbing her wrist and tugging her away from the pond. “Here, let me take you home and get you warmed up.”  
  
Bella ducks her head and bites back a smile. Jack is truly too kind for his own good. He gave her a name and now is taking her – a complete stranger – home to get her warm.  
  
“Here we are,” Jack says, and shuffles her inside of the apartment building. “I live on the third floor, so you’ll have to climb some stairs, sorry about that.”  
  
“It’s fine,” she says, and her voice is low and husky. “I don’t care.”  
  
Jack grins, leading her up the stairs. “Cool. Okay, so I should have some shirts that will fit you after you take a shower and then I’ll warm up that potato soup I made yesterday.”  
  
Bella almost stumbles on the steps – she isn’t used to having legs again yet – but she manages to get to the door. She knows where almost everything is in this apartment, knowledge born from countless days watching from the windows. She has a feeling it will be different, actually being inside. “Soup?”  
  
“Yeah.” He puts his key into the lock and turns, jiggling the handle, muttering under his breath. “Damn thing, always gets stuck.”  
  
Bella reaches around him and slams her shoulder into the wood. The door flies open, and she walks past Jack, dropping the coat on the floor as she wanders over to the couch. “Soup,” she says again. She likes soup – last winter, she followed others to these buildings and they gave her soup. It was warm and filling and they had let her stay the night.  
  
Jack shakes his head, grinning. He seems to do that a lot when he doesn’t know what to say. “Alrighty,” he says, and closes the door behind him as he heads into the kitchen. “Soup it is. You’ll like it, I promise. It has a lot of cheese in it and potatoes and bacon and –“  
  
Bella hums from the couch, stretching out on the cushions. “Okay,” she says sleepily. Being in a warm place is – great. It’s amazing, especially when it’s so cold outside. And heat has always made her more tired than most.  
  
“Hey, why don’t you go take a shower?” Jack asks, leaning over the little counter with stools on the other side. “It’ll make you feel a lot better, I swear.”  
  
She doesn’t really want to move, not when she’s so comfortable, but, well –  
  
She does feel dirty, and she can’t clean her feathers or jump into the lake to get clean. Showers are how humans make themselves not gross, and Bella has always not liked being that. “Okay,” she says, and reluctantly sits up. “Where?”  
  
Jack glances up from where he’s spooning soup into a bowl. “Hm? Oh, second door on the left. I’ll bring you some clothes in a sec, after I make us some sandwiches.”  
  
Bella nods and stands, heading straight for the bathroom and opening the door. She – isn’t sure of what, exactly, goes on during a shower, but she’s sure she can figure it out. She’s one of the smarter of her sisters after all.  
  
She eyes the mirror before turning to the right and seeing a large white box – a tub? She hesitantly twists the knob in the large white box, jumping back when water suddenly shoots from the nozzle. “What?” she says, squinting. “How?” Is this water from the lake? It can’t be. It’s too clear.  
  
Whatever. It’s water, so she’ll use it.  
  
She takes off the dress, frowning down at her body. There’s scars on her stomach from her various fights, and she notices that her muscles are there, which is nice. That witch didn’t take everything from her yet.  
  
A knock at the door. “Hey, Bella? Do you have any preferences for your sandwich? I have the stuff for a club.”  
  
Bella has no idea what a club is, but she’s also a swan. She eats plants and the occasional fish or bug. “Fine,” she says, and Jack makes a noise of understanding.  
  
“A club it is,” he says. “I’ll heat it up so the cheese is melted. I’ll have to make some bacon, though, so it’ll take longer.”  
  
“That’s okay,” Bella says.  
  
“Okay,” Jack says, and then he’s gone.  
  
Bella narrows her eyes at the water. She will not be intimidated by water. She is a swan. She lives in the water, mainly.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Bella steps inside the tub, flinching at how cold the water is. She scowls, jerking the knob to the left. Blue means cold and red means hot. The water turns scalding, and she yelps, scrambling to turn to the right. It turns freezing again and it takes another two tries for her to find the right temperature.  
  
Soaking wet and with water being pounded on her head, Bella scowls.  
  
By the time she manages to get herself clean with the bottles in the tub and wrap herself in the fluffy towel, Jack is back.  
  
“I brought you some of my boxers,” he says, and he sounds so very uncomfortable. “And a shirt of mine. You’re taller than me, but I think they should serve their purpose.”  
  
Bella shrugs, nuzzling the towel. “It will be okay.”  
  
“Okay,” he says, determinedly cheerful, and then she can hear the way his footsteps quickly run down the hallway, away from her. “Hurry up so your food doesn’t get cold!”  
  
Bella opens the door and looks down at the small pile of clothes curiously. _I’m guessing the shirt goes on my torso,_ she thinks, and lets the towel fall to the floor as she picks it up, holding it out in front of her.  
  
It’s certainly big and long, she muses, and pulls it over her head, already reaching for the last thing – she assumes they’re the boxers. They’re also surprisingly soft, which she finds pleasing.  
  
“Bella? Are you done?”  
  
“Ah, yes!” She grabs the towel and lays it around her neck, the way she’s seen Jack do. When it gets wet instead of her shoulders, she can see why. “Sorry.”  
  
“Not a problem,” Jack says when she finally meanders her way to the table. “I just finished getting this ready. You didn’t take long in the shower. My sister could learn from you.” The last words were said under his breath, like it was an old grievance, but Bella’s heart skips a bat at the mention of Erica all the same.  
  
“Sister?”  
  
“Hm? Oh, yeah. I have a sister, her name’s Erica. She’s a real pain, always hovering.” He huffs. “Well, she’s not the focus here. You and your need to eat are. When was the last time you ate?”  
  
Bella hums, thinking back. All the bugs go underground when it’s winter, and the plants wither, so –  
  
She holds up three fingers. Jack’s face does a weird thing and then he’s pushing a bowl in front of her, and she wraps her fingers around it automatically, the warmth from the soup spreading to its container and thus her hands. Bella grips it tighter, raising it to her lips and sucking some down. It is indeed very cheesy, as he promised. She bites down on some bacon. Bacon is good, too.  
  
“Do you like it?” Jack asks, and when she nods, he looks relieved. “Good. Now, sit.” He pushes her into the chair and hands her a spoon. “Eat.”  
  
“You’re too. Nice,” Bella says around a mouthful of soup. She trips over the words, not used to it. Last winter, she didn’t speak much, if at all. But she’s making an active effort, now. Jack is her – well, not friend. More of an acquaintance.  
  
Jack laughs, scratching his cheek. “Yeah, Mom always told me I had a heart ten times too big.”  
  
“Good thing,” she assures him, and wishes she could speak with the same ease as she does when she is a swan.  
  
“She told me that too,” Jack says, sad and bittersweet, and smiles down at his plate.  
  
Bella bites down on a potato to avoid answering that. She isn’t good with emotions. He shakes himself, reaching out for a sandwich. “Sorry for the heavy subject,” he says, and his voice is still raw.  
  
Bella shrugs. “It’s okay.”  
  
He sends her a small grin, this one somehow more genuine than any of the other ones he’s given her today, and takes a bite of his sandwich.  
  
She ends up falling asleep on the couch, huddled under a blanket with a movie playing six feet away from her.

  
\--

The next day, she wakes up to snow and the sun. She blinks heavily at the window, stretching above her head. She shuffles to the bathroom, looking for her dress. Something is telling her that she _cannot_ let it out of her sight, no matter how much she trusts Jack. If she loses it-  
  
Well. She doesn’t know, but she doubts it’s pleasant.  
  
It’s not there. Her dress, her _feathers_ are not there, and panic wraps around her throat. Oh no, oh no, no, _no._ Why did she decide to trust Jack? Why did she decide to take it off? She _wasn’t supposed to take it off –_  
  
“Bella?”  
  
Bella whips around, hair falling in front of her eyes and getting stuck under her arms. “Jack?” she says, hoarse.  
  
“Yeah, it’s me. I just went to get your dress mended and cleaned,” Jack says easily, holding out her precious feathers. Bella snatches them from him, holding them close to her chest as she stares at him, wide eyed. Her throat works, but she can’t say anything. “Bella?”  
  
“Important,” she chokes out, and can’t say anymore. She doesn’t know the words to express just how much him taking it is _not okay._  
  
Understanding dawns on his face and he smiles apologetically. “Sorry for taking it,” he says. “I should have asked.”  
  
Bella nods robotically, threading her fingers though the feathers to keep herself steady. “Should have,” she agrees, and doesn’t scream at him like she wants to.  
  
“You can take a shower,” he offers. “I was planning to go clothes shopping with you later. I can make breakfast while you’re in the shower if you want me to.”  
  
Bella turns on her heel and closes the bathroom door behind her. Fury is burning within her, making her bare her teeth at her reflection. How _dare_ he take her feathers without asking? How _dare_ he? She would have been stuck as a human for the rest of her days if he didn’t return it, forced to chase after her feathers until she perished, unable to fly.  
  
She pulls back a fist and punches the wall, hissing through her teeth at the sting. He only wanted to help, she reminds herself. He’s _always_ only wanted to help.  
  
It doesn’t calm her down in the least.  
  
Bella turns on the water and tears off the clothes like they’re burning her, like they’re poisonous, and steps under the water, sighing when it makes her tense muscles relax. She just gets so _angry,_ and her mother told her it was a problem, that aggression was fine but that much anger was not. The water beats down on her knuckles, the blood turning pink as it goes down the drain.  
  
She needs to calm down, but – she can’t, not when someone takes her feathers. Her feathers are _her’s._ Nobody else’s.  
  
She reaches out to grab the two-in-one shampoo and conditioner bottle, squirting some into her palm and scrubbing her scalp viciously, rinsing it out when she’s done and only staring as the bubbles gather at the drain. The water turns cold and the soap disappears as she simply stands there, breathing deeply.  
  
In. Out. In through her nose and out through her mouth. Her nails dig into her palms as she leans against the wall, resting her chin on her collarbone. He didn’t mean to scare her like that. He was only getting it fixed, which is an incredibly kind thing to do.  
  
She hears the door open, Jack say something, and then a grunt. Her heart leaps into her throat as the body wash suds rinse off, and she waits one second to make sure they're all off before scrambling out of the shower, pulling on her dress as she runs into the living room.  
  
“Jack!” she shouts, and then skids to a stop because –  
  
Because Erica is here, just as gorgeous as she was last time, and she’s staring at Bella with an increasingly red face as Jack merely sighs in resignation.  
  
“Jack?” Erica says, her voice oddly high pitched. “Who is this?”  
  
Bella can’t say anything – her tongue is too tied up to even _attempt_ saying the words she does know how to speak – so she looks at Jack in desperation. Jack aims his gaze to the ceiling, muttering about _damn sexuals_ as he waves a hand towards Bella. “This is Bella,” he says, sounding pained. “She stayed the night here yesterday after I found her sleeping by the lake in only that dress.”  
  
“And that dress is damned lucky,” Erica mumbles, and Bella’s face flares red. “Oh shit -“  
  
“And this, Bella,” Jack continues, the expression on his face long-suffering, “is my ever so eloquent sister, Erica.”  
  
Bella waves, looking anywhere but the woman who has dominated her thoughts since spring. “Hello,” she says, and she is _so proud_ that she managed that.  
  
“Hi,” Erica replies, and it’s strangled. “Why are you staying with my lil bro?”  
  
Bella doesn’t know how to say the words, so she raises her hands a little helplessly.  
  
“She doesn’t have anywhere else to go,” Jack says, intervening, and he is a _saint._ Bella will never be mad at him again. “So she’s staying here until she can get a place of her own or a family member can pick her up.”  
  
Bella wrinkles her nose at the mention of her family. She’s human right now and she much prefers staying inside when she is not a swan. “No family,” she says, and they both look at her.  
  
“Oh,” Erica says. “Well – uh. If you don’t mind staying with him, then I guess it’s okay.”  
  
Jack nods, the angle of his lips serious. “Right. You can stay as long as you want. Speaking of which – “ he pokes his sister in the shoulder – “ how long are you staying?”  
  
Erica laughs, wicked and devious. “I sent in my final draft to my editors yesterday,” she says gleefully. “I’m free until March! So I’m going to be staying until I have to go home!”  
  
Jack grimaces. “Oh no.”  
  
“Oh yes.”  
  
“You’re such a servant of chaos, you know that?” Jack says, despairing. “I hate you.”  
  
“You love me and you know it,” Erica says, swinging an arm around his shoulders. “I was the one who caused all the trouble when we were kids so _you_ didn’t get in trouble when it was actually your idea.”  
  
Jack grins at that. “That’s true.”  
  
“And you call me crazy!”  
  
Bella squints at them, her hair still wet. “No fighting?”  
  
“No fighting,” Jack says, and Bella hums. “Want breakfast?”  
  
“Yes,” Bella says under Erica’s loud _already had breakfast, brother mine._ “Food sounds good.”  
  
Jack grins, elbowing his sister in the ribs and slipping out her grasp while she wheezes out curses. "Alright. How about cereal?"  
  
Bella shrugs, not really knowing what cereal is but willing to try it. “Okay,” she says, and follows Jack into the small kitchen, leaning against the counters as he digs through the cabinets.  
  
“Where is the Life cereal,” he mutters, and it’s not a question – his voice doesn’t go up at the end like it does when he _is_ asking a question. Erica slips up next to him, reaching around his stomach and snagging a white box.  
  
“Here it is,” she says, her voice flat, and when he snatches it from her hand, she rolls her eyes and wanders over to Bella. “He always forgets that he eats that for breakfast almost every morning and never puts it,” she says, watching as her brother scrambles around, searching for the bowls he so effortlessly found the day before. “He’s so forgetful,” she says in amusement, and turns to Bella. “Isn’t he?”  
  
“He is,” Bella says, and she manages not to squeak. “Like sister.”  
  
“Sister?” Erica asks in interest, and her eyes are wide with curiosity.  
  
Bella makes a noise in the back of her throat. “Yes. Sister is – forgetful. Forgot brother once.”  
  
Erica’s gaze is sharp, her curls sliding over his shoulder as she tilts her head. “Why’d you say you have no family when you so obviously do?”  
  
Bella opens her mouth to respond, but her tongue refuses to work. Growling in annoyance, she runs a hand through her hair. “Family gone,” she says, and that much is true, if a bit of a lie. “They left.”  
  
Erica makes an ‘o’ with her mouth in understanding. “And they left you behind?”  
  
“Yes,” Bella says, and doesn’t let her shoulders slump when Erica decides to give her a respite. It’s not that they left, she thinks to herself, it’s just that they leave her alone when in the winter months. Erica is more perceptive than she originally thought, and it’s welcome.  
  
“Breakfast is served,” Jack says, butting into the silence between them, and sets down two bowls. “Hope you don’t mind, but I gave you Life too.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Bella says, and takes a seat, picking up a spoon. Erica sits across from her, putting her elbows on the table and giving Bella a smile.  
  
_“So,”_ she says, and Jack groans at her tone. “What were you guys planning to do?”  
  
“Clothes,” Bella says around a mouthful of cereal. It’s rather good, she must admit, and she will miss it when she goes back to her family.  
  
Erica’s eyes sparkle. “Clothes? You were planning to go buy clothes?’  
  
Jack eyes his sister suspiciously. “Don’t you even start,” he warns, and sips some milk from his bowl. “Let her choose her own clothes, you maniac.”  
  
“I was going to!” Erica protests, sitting up straight in offense. “I was just going to _offer_ my advice that she will appreciate unlike _some people._ She shoots her brother a mild glare.  
  
“I was _thirteen,_ let it go,” he snaps, and takes an aggressive bite of his cereal.  
  
Erica scowls. “Whatever. Besides, it looks like she doesn’t need my help. Her dress is…” she trails off, turning red. Bella gives her an odd look, drinking the rest of her milk. “Well. Let’s just say it’s very flattering to her figure.”  
  
“You’re so troublesome,” Jack complains, taking the bowl when Bella holds it out. “Last boyfriend was a real douche, you know?”  
  
“Yes, but he was hot!” Erica says defensively. "Besides, he was only a douche to you. And Mark. And – yeah, he was a douche.”  
  
“My point exactly,” Jack says smugly. “You really needs to pick better partners, seriously.”  
  
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Humans don’t have only one partner for their _entire lives?_ That’s…incomprehensible.  
  
“More than one?” she asks, bewildered, and Erica turns to look at her.  
  
“Oh, yeah,” she says, jabbing her thumb at her chest. “I’ve had a lot of past boyfriends and girlfriend. Jack on the other hand, has had none.”  
  
“And I have no interest in one,” he calls.  
  
“I know,” Erica replies, and brushes some stray curl behind her ear. “What about you?”  
  
Bella blinks, grinning. “Want only one,” she says confidently.  
  
“One of those types, huh?” Erica nods. “Well, I respect that.” She reaches out to pat Bella’s hand. “Don’t worry, the right one is out there!”  
  
Bella doesn’t even try to hide her smile at that.

  
  
\--

 

A month passes and Bella experiences Christmas for the first time. Well. It’s more like she gets to see the before of it.  
  
“Bella,” Erica says, drawing out her name as she flings herself onto Bella’s lap, “I don’t know what to get Jack!”  
  
Bella laughs, setting down her book. The witch might not have given her the ability to speak what she wants, but she did give her the ability to read, which, honestly, is much more than Bella thinks the witch has given others. “You will be okay,” she says, and she’s worked hard within these last few weeks to get to a point where she can speak with sentences. “Just get a cookbook.”  
  
Erica frowns. “What cookbook does he not have?”  
  
Bella winces. “Good point.”  
  
“My problem exactly!” Erica flails her arms into the air with a pout. “I just – he won’t accept any of my writing, so –“  
  
“Play book gift card,” Bella says, smiling with her burst of inspiration. “He can buy whatever cookbook and book he doesn’t have.”  
  
Erica stares up at her, eye wide. Bella pushes the flush that threatens to rise to her cheeks down with a viciousness normally reserved for those who piss her off. ‘Bella, you are a _genius!”_  
  
“I know,” Bella says. “Now go get him two – one for you and one for me.” At Erica’s dirty look, she raises one shoulder. “Jack is hard to shop for.”  
  
“Don’t I know it.” Erica buries her face in Bella’s stomach, and Bella stops breathing, frozen. Erica is so _very_ pretty and Bella has been wanting to kiss her since she got to know her – which, admittedly, she hasn’t gotten to know her well enough to really justify being in a relationship with her, but Bella is _getting there, alright?_  
  
“You have been living with him for most of your life,” Bella says dryly once she can draw air into her lungs. “I would imagine you would.”  
  
Erica scowls. “He was easy to shop for when he was younger.”  
  
Bella pets her head, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. “I’m sure she was,” she murmurs, and for some reason she can feel Erica’s eyes fixed on her throat. “Do I have something on me?”  
  
“Nope!” Erica squeaks, turning an alarming shade of pink. “Nothing is on you! Nothing at all!” She clears her throat and sits up, dislodging the hand that had settled on her hip. “Hey want to go shopping with me?"  
  
Bella smiles amicably, nodding and grabbing her coat as she passes it on the way to the shoe rack, where her soft leather boots are waiting. “Okay,” she says. ‘Where to?” She slips her coat over her ruffled white shirt, tugs on her boots, and faces Erica with her hands on her hips. Her crush and friend is staring at her, blank eyed. “Erica?”  
  
Erica shakes her head, rolling her shoulders. “I’m fine,” she says in a voice far more deep than usual. “Let’s go.”  
  
Bella opens the door, stepping out into the hallway. Without waiting, she goes down the stairs, skipping two steps sometimes so she would go down faster. Erica laughs from behind her, leaping a few steps and landing on the ground between floors. Bella grins, full of competitive spirit, and sprints that much harder, slamming into the wall on the ground floor seconds before Erica runs into her. They both yelp as they fall to the ground, Bella puffing up automatically as she does.  
  
Erica is laughing, though, when Bella turns on her back to look at her with annoyance, so she lets it go. For now, anyway. Then Erica stops laughing, her eyes going large, and Bella realizes that she is trapped by Erica’s hands around her face and their legs tangled together.  
  
Trapped. Bella’s breath hitches in her throat and her hands twitch and turn inwards to make fists. Erica may be a friend, may be a potential mate, but by the water will Bella never allow herself to be trapped.  
  
Erica falls back, stammering apologies, and Bella breathes out, unclenching her fists. She’s okay, she’s not trapped, Erica didn’t mean to, _everything’s fine._  
  
It’s just – she’s a swan cursed to be in a human body, chained to something that isn’t her. And as much as she enjoys being human, she knows that she’ll always miss being a swan.  
  
“Bella?” Erica shakes her shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

Bella sucks in a breath. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She slowly sits up, ignoring the hand Erica offers her and grips her shoulder. “I landed hard on my shoulder,” she says in answer to Erica’s silent question of _are you okay?_ “But I’ll be okay. Let’s just go get some presents.”  
  
Erica smiles – in relief or excitement, Bella doesn’t know. “Yeah, lets,” she says, and pulls Bella to her feet. “Where to go? Target, the mall? Oooh, maybe Sam’s Club?”  
  
Bella, who has been on the internet a lot this last month, raises an eyebrow. “Do you even have a membership?”  
  
“Nope!” Erica flashes a card. “But Jack does! He got it like two months ago.”  
  
Bella chuckles lowly, fixing her coat. “I thought that you would steal something from him."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
“It means that you’re a stealer that takes your brother’s things,” Bella says.  
  
Erica punches her in the shoulder – not the one she landed on, thankfully – and heads past her to the door. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’m a bit of a kleptomaniac. But! That’s why you love me, ha!”  
  
Bella’s cheeks heat up and despite the cold she stepped into, she doesn’t even begin to feel it. “I’m afraid that you have the wrong impression of me,” she says primly. “I do not love anyone.”  
  
“You say that,” Erica muses as she unlocks her car, “and yet I find you crying at animal rescue videos.”  
  
Bella grins at her, sharp enough to cut, and says, “Shut up. I’ve seen you at three in the morning eating cheese. You have no room to talk.”  
  
Erica laughs. “Touché,” she says, and turns on the car, heading to the Sam’s Club at least ten minutes away. Bella stares out the window, watching as birds take flight and trying to ignore the aching in her soul. “You know,” Erica says, “I don’t know your taste in music. Jack bought you those headphones and you always have them in so I – don’t know.”  
  
Bella blinks, grabs Erica’s phone, and looks up Devil’s Backbone on YouTube before playing it.  
  
“Oh lord, oh lord, what have I done?” Bella sings. “I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run. Oh lord, oh lord, I’m begging you, please. Don’t take that sinner from me. Oh, don’t take that sinner from me.” She stops singing, turning to look at Erica. “That’s my taste in music.”  
  
Erica clears her throat, keeping her eyes carefully on the road ahead of her. “This is a good song,” she says. “Did – have you always been able to sing like that?”  
  
“I suppose so?” Bella scratches at her ear. “I don’t know exactly what you mean.”  
  
“Like – like a frickin’ angel, Bella,” Erica sputters. “Dude, I can’t sing for the life of me, and here you are hiding that god given talent? I thought we were friends?”  
  
“I – we are friends?” Bella says, feeling irritated. “I just never sang because I didn’t think it was important and I don’t really care for singing. I sing under my breath, maybe, but unless I have a song playing that's not in my headphones then I generally don’t sing. It’s not that big of a deal.”  
  
Erica shrugs but clicks on another song – this time Barton Hollow. “Well, you can sing around me if you want.” She sends Bella a side glance as they pull into the parking lot.  
  
Bella smiles, and this time it’s completely genuine. “I know,” she says, and opens the door the moment the car stops moving, hands in her pockets as she walks towards the store, Erica scrambling after her.  
  
“Bella! Bella, wait up!” Erica catches up to her with little effort, grabbing her arm as they slow to a stop. “Hey, learn to wait for me, okay?” She sends Bella a teasing smile as she grabs a cart.  
  
“Hey, you two are under a mistletoe!” a little voice exclaims, and Bella looks towards the ceiling. Sure enough, there is a mistletoe, and she aims her gaze downwards, where a little kid is bundled up so well she can only see his eyes. His gloved hand is holding his father’s and she can feel his grin from where she’s standing. “That means you have a kiss,” he explains, and she freezes. Shit.  
  
Erica’s grip on her hand is edging towards stiff and painful. “I – that’s not a rule,” she says awkwardly.  
  
“Yes, it is!” the kid protests. “Chrissy said so and she’s _ten!”_  
  
Bella really want to see if this kid’s confidence will last when she tells him that she doesn’t have to participate in this tradition, and she opens her mouth to do just that when –  
  
When Erica leans in and presses a kiss to her lips, pulling back after a single second. The kid cheers even as they both turn bright red, and the mother is apologizing to rapidly Bella is halfway afraid she’ll pass out from lack of air. “I’m so sorry – Kevin, you _better_ apologize,” she hisses, and her son shrinks back uncertainty.  
  
Bella frowns, her ears still burning, and holds up a hand to stop the abolishment. “It’s fine,” she says, crouching down to look the kid – Kevin is his name – in the eyes. “Sometimes people don’t want to participate in tradition because it makes them uncomfortable.” She tugs at the pom-pom on his hat. “Your mom was just saying that you should ask before, okay?”  
  
He nods, reaching out to grab her pinkie. “Promise,” he says solemnly, and then darts off into the sliding doors and out of his mother’s eye sight. Bella watches, satisfaction in her blood as the mother runs after him. That will teach her to do that.  
  
“That was…kinda amazing,” Erica says after a moment, and her face is still crimson. Bella brushes her fingertips over her lips, closing her eyes. “Listen, about that kiss, I actually –“  
  
“You did it to make the child not feel stupid,” Bella says, because the alternative would be thinking that Erica actually meant it, which is not an option, not really. As much as she would love to think that maybe Erica did like her back, she can’t make herself ask. “It’s okay, I understand.”  
  
Erica opens her mouth then closes it. “Right,” she says, strangled, and then turns on her heel to go inside.

  
\--

  
Christmas begins with Jack shaking her awake, an excited glint in his eyes as the tree shines in the background, the lights they had put up weeks before twinkling.  
  
“Bella,” he whisper-shouts, “wake up! It’s Christmas!” He looks delighted, laughing as he pulls Bella to her feet even as she yawns and rubs at her eyes. “Did you celebrate it last year?”  
  
“No,” she tells him. Last year, she hadn’t even known what Christmas was. “I didn’t.”  
  
Erica gasps in offense, pausing in getting a present out from under the tree. “What?”  
  
“I didn’t celebrate Christmas,” Bella repeats, confused when the siblings gape at her. “What?”  
  
“Jack,” Erica says, utterly serious. “We have to make this the best Christmas ever.”  
  
Jack nods. “Of course, sister mine. You pile her high with presents while I get the monkey bread ready.”  
  
Erica claps him on the shoulder. “Good man,” she praises, and then shoves a big present at Bella. “This is yours,” she says without any explanation. “Stay here. There's a lot more where that came from.”  
  
Bella holds it in her hands and waits, furrowing her brows when Jack spits out a curse rom the kitchen. “Jack?”  
  
“Nothing, Bella! Just remembered we didn’t geet eggnog.”  
  
“Oh, gross!” Erica wrinkles her nose as she rustles through the presents. “You still drink that? That shit is nasty.”  
  
“Yeah, to _you,”_ Jack snorts, and slams the fridge door shut. “But _I_ think it’s great and that Bella should try it.”  
  
A drink made of _eggs?_  
  
“No, thank you,” she says mildly, feeling slightly sick to her stomach. She’s tolerated the meat considering she is human and they are, admittedly, delicious, but that’s taking things one step too far. “I’m good without.”  
  
Erica cackles as she shoves a present at Bella’s feet. “See? Even she thinks it’s gross and she’s never had it! You’ve lost!”  
  
Jack pokes his head out of the island, glowering at them both. “Shut up,” he says sharply at Erica, who merely gives him the middle finger absently, then to Bella, “and won’t you at least try it?”  
  
He’s using the puppy eyes. Bella has never had a good resistance to those. She can feel herself giving in and only nods, a bit miserable at her lack of fight. Jack beams at her. “Excellent. I’ll go buy some later.”  
  
Erica hands her a envelope, which immediately goes under her arm and stuck to her side. "Hey, you bribed her,” she complains, and Jack sticks his tongue out at her as he disappears into the kitchen again. Erica rolls her eyes before looking at Bella, who is still standing with a box her hands. “You can sit down, you know.”  
  
“Oh thank god.” Bella sets the box down and folds to the ground, crossing her legs the way she’s seen five year olds do. “So when do we open presents?”  
  
Erica laughs. “When I’m done passing them out, duh. We want to take pictures.”  
  
Bella inclines her head, then goes quiet as the minutes pass.  
  
Jack comes out of the kitchen, the angle of his lips smug, and settles down next to her just as Erica finishes setting the last present beside her. “And, done! Mine was last, obviously.” She smiles sweetly at Jack’s distinctly unimpressed expression and pulls out her phone. “Now, Bella, you go first.”  
  
Bella shifts through the presents, then remembers the envelope she had put under her elbow. “Wonder what’s in the envelope,” she hums, and tears it open. A small card falls out into her lap, and she picks it up, squinting at it. “What…”  
  
“We – and by that I mean I did - noticed that you don’t like how small your muscles are. So we got you a membership to a gym that helps people get stronger,” Erica explains without preamble. “Hopefully, this will make you stop moping and sulking when you get out of the shower.”  
  
“Not that there's anything wrong with your moping and sulking,” Jack says swiftly. “You just frown and pick at your arms a lot. I don’t mind since your brand of it is very subtle, but my sister did so –“ he waves at the card – “here we are.”  
  
The thought of getting her muscles back is – well it’s certainly exciting. Bella grins, excitement and thankfulness in equal measure, and sets it down carefully on the coffee table. “Thank you,” she says , and picks up a small box, peering inside the moment she’s able to open it. “A phone?”  
  
Erica stretches her arms above her head, nodding. “Yup. Now you can call us and stuff. Like watch YouTube whenever you want. I put you on my plan so you have unlimited data.”  
  
Bella knows what unlimited data is, and she is very grateful. “Thanks,” she says, and puts it beside the card. “I can open the rest later. Jack?”  
  
Jack jolts, sending her an odd look but reaching out nonetheless. “Alrighty,” he says, and pulls a present towards him. He opens it and starts griping. “Really? A chemistry set for kids?”  
  
Erica’s grin is entirely wicked. “Absolutely,” she says cheerfully. “Now you can do chemistry at home!”  
  
“What’s so bad about the chemistry set?” Bella asks curiously, and Jack glares at his sister.  
  
“I’m a chemist,” he says. “She decided to be a smartass and buy me something meant for people with minimum knowledge of my field.”  
  
“That I did,” she agrees sagely. “That I did.”  
  
Bella snickers and leans against the coffee table, watching the siblings bicker.  
  
Christmas is good, she decides. She would like to do it again next year.  
  
(As it turns out, she does not like eggnog, and Erica laughs at Jack for five minutes straight.)

  
\--

New Years Eve finds Bella on the couch, terrifyingly close to murdering the guests that are drinking in the living room. After one of them had grabbed her for the last time, she had snapped and punched him in the face. Jack sent her to the couch to cool down with some sparkling grape juice after she had slapped his hand away when he tried to hand her some wine.

She sits and takes gulps of her juice, scowling hard enough that the others avoid her. Good, she thinks viciously, and bites into a deviled egg. These people are in her home, drinking and eating her food, and they are not being respectful of her space. She is _stressed_ and it is _their fault._ She takes another deviled egg from her plate and eats it one bite. Deviled eggs are are delicious despite the fact that she is a bird herself. She is human at the moment. There is no taboo to her eating eggs and so she does it willingly.

Erica flops down next to her, her cheeks rosy from the alcohol she’s drank. The wine in her glass almost swishes over the rim but she steadies it before it does. Her eyes are clear, though, and Bella knows that she is, in fact, not as drunk as she makes herself out to be. “Bella!’ she says, and it’s amazingly sharp. “What are you doing on the couch when it’s two minutes from midnight?”

 _“People,”_ Bella snarls. “Them and their fucking shitty tolerance for wine and beer.”

Erica laughs at that, leaning against her. “Yeah,” she says, and it’s impossibly fond. “They’re all light weights unlike me an’ Jack.” Her eyes drift shut, grip loosening on her glass, and Bella grabs it before it falls. “were twins, ya know?”

“I know,” Bella says. “And you’re the older one by half an hour.”

Erica barks a cackle. “Damn right I am! It’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t do anything _stupid._ So when he started to go to parties, I went too. Especially in college. So now I can’t really get drunk. Well, I _can_ but it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.”

Her hand is flopped onto Bella’s lap, and Bella rubs her thumb against her palm. “You’re so responsible,” she says, lightly teasing, and Erica grins into her shoulder, bubbly and happy.

“I am,” she agrees, and curls her fingers in to grip Bella’s hand. “The _most_ responsible.”

“The ball is dropping!” Jack shouts, and Bella keeps her eyes on Erica, on the way she bites her lip as she watches the TV.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven -”

“Six, five, four, three,” Bella murmurs, and Erica faces her, a grin on her face that outshines the sun. “Two, one.”

“Happy New Year!” the guests scream, and Bella surges forward just as Erica sweeps in, and their lips touch the moment the fireworks explode. Bella wraps her arms around Erica’s neck as Erica’s hands land on her waist, and it’s _perfect,_ it’s better than Bella could have ever imagined. Erica’s lips taste bitter from the wine and she can taste the snacks scattered throughout the room from the crumbs when she slips her tongue out, sending them both giggling from the odd feeling it causes.

Her heart races, her eyes close, and Bella falls into Erica’s embrace.

She’s fallen in love, it seems. It’s a fragile thing, something not yet as strong as steel, but Bella knows that it will be. She knows that she will be, knows that eventually it will be all consuming and she will be able to lean against it without it wavering.

She knows this, but -

But, for now, she lets Erica sweep her away with eyes filled with stars and a hold that won’t ever let her go.

 

\--

 

Bella opens her eyes to Erica’s soft smile and fingers that trail across her collarbone and swirl up to her cheek, feather light. “Morning,” she says quietly, and Erica presses a kiss to her nose, because she is a romantic at heart. Then she sees they’re in Erica’s bed and her heart sinks - it would be too soon, she doesn’t want to rush this. “Did we-”

Erica shakes her head. “Nah,” she says, laying her head on her arm. “We were both too tired after the party. Besides, that’s a bit fast.”

Bella grins, small slow, and presses her lips to Erica’s hair. “Exactly,” she says, and lays her arm around Erica’s side, nosing her way to the curve between shoulder and neck.

Erica threads her fingers through Bella’s hair, soft black slipping through her fingers and pooling around her head. “I was pining so _hard_ that Jack just told me to kiss you and get it over with,” she says thoughtfully, and Bella huffs.

“He’s so blunt.”

“He is but that’s why we love him.” Erica up and stretches, curving her spine and curling her toes. Bella makes a wordless sound of protest but gets up too, hair sliding down to her wrists as she stands. Erica watches without shame, a sappy quality to her gaze, and Bella winks at her before floating out of the room, grinning at the sputters she hears before the door closes.

Jack is sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee with bloodshot eyes, and he still manages to judge her with a single look. “Have a good night?” he asks, raising one eyebrow.

Bella considers telling him the truth, considers saying something that won’t completely horrify him, but, well. She can be an incredibly petty person - swan - and so she looks him in the eyes and says with utmost confidence, “Yes, I did.”

His face blanches. “Oh, _gross!_ I didn’t need to know that, thank you so much.”

Bella grins at him just as Erica hugs her from behind. “Don’t listen to her,” she says in Bella’s ear. “she’s full of shit. We did nothing but cuddle and sleep.”

Jack shoots her a dirty eye, and Bella graciously ignores him, dragging a mildly objecting Erica with her into the kitchen. “Water?” she says, grabbing a glass and filling it with milk. Erica grabs it and takes a deep drink, wiping away the milk mustache with the back of her hand once she’s done. “That was mine,” she grumbles, already getting another one.

“I know,” Erica says, resting her chin on her shoulder. “I just wanted to be annoying.”

 _Why do I like this woman,_  Bella wonders dryly, and shakes the milk jug. “We’ll need more milk soon,” she says loudly, and Jack makes a affirmative noise. It could have also been grunt. She doesn’t know.

“You shouldn’t have drunk so much,” Erica says over her head. “Dumbo. Do you even remember anything beyond two?”

Jack opens his mouth, then closes it with a click. “No,” he mutters sullenly.

“That’s what I thought,” Erica says. “Go lay back down. You’re too hungover for this.”

Bella nods to back her up. Jack really does look like death warmed over, and it is making her want to put her palm against his forehead to see if he’s running a fever. Which he isn’t. Her grip tightens on the glass.

Erica rubs at the back of her neck as she calls out to her twin, and Bella slumps against her, rolling her head. Erica catches her weight as she laughs, low and throaty. A shiver runs down Bella’s spine, and she wishes she had her wings so she could spread them wide and impress her. Alas, she doesn’t, so she compromises by blowing some cold air against her skin. Erica squirms away, her lips turned up as she stares down at Bella, something fond and loving and warm in her eyes as she presses a gentle kiss against her forehead.

As they stand there, simply enjoying the other’s presence, Bella decides that there is no place she would rather be.

 

\--

 

Valentines Day comes far, far too quickly, and Bella is left floundering two weeks before the holiday, desperate for a present. She doesn’t have a job - how can she, when she doesn’t have any identification records - and she’s dependent enough on Jack as it is. She needs to find someplace to hire her. The witch left enough knowledge in her head to know how to fake an application with high school , so she picks up an application from several restaurants and takes them home.

Jack finds her filling them out steadily into the night, the scratch of the pen on paper and her mutters the only sound in the room. “I’ve worked at - well, nowhere but _they_ don’t know that, so -”

“Bella?” he asks, sounding bewildered, and she turns in her chair sharply, hair out of it’s braid or ponytail for once. “What are you doing up?”

Bella waves helplessly at the piles of applications. “Trying to get a job,” she says irritably, and picks up her pen again. “And I’m relatively sure that I’m going to fail.” She drops the pen and crosses her arms on the table, resting her face on them. “God fucking dammit.”

Jack sits on the table next to her, yawning into his palm. “Why are you looking for a job?”

“Valentines Day,” she says, it’s a curse. “I want to get Erica something for Valentine’s Day, but I don’t have the money.”

Jack takes the applications and looks them over, his incredulousness rising with each word read. “Bella,” he says, mild, “why are you lying on this?”

“Because how else would they hire me?” she snaps, and grabs another application. “I’ve never worked anywhere before - I never had any reason to. And I’m already relying on you and Erica too much, and I just - I can’t do that anymore. I can’t be a burden anymore than I already am.” Her pen breaks the paper.

Jack pulls the pen from her death grip, simply watching with too-wise eyes. “If you wanted a job, you could have told me. I would’ve made the process easier.”

“That’s the thing,” she says, shoving her hair away from her eyes and rubbing at her temples. “I want to do this on my own. So just -” she grabs the pen. “Let me do this.”

Jack slides off the table, standing next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. “Bella, when I was, oh, eight or so, I was terrified of storms. Where we come from, storms always meant bad things. Lightning, power outages. You name it, it happened. So I was so very frightened.” He taps the table with one long, elegant finger. “Erica - she was afraid too, but not as much as me. She just hated the lightning, scared it would hit her or me. Mom was always gone, working to try and earn money, so it was mainly just us.”

He takes a breath. “One night, I was playing in the woods behind our home when a storm started. I was lost in the rain with thunder above me. Erica came running out of the house and found me within five minutes because I was screaming for help.” He smiles, a little loving, a little bitter. “She’s always been good at hearing me.”

Jack waves a hand. “Anyways, she came looking for me, brought me home, and fixed me up.” He gives Bella a significant look. “I’m still scared of storms today, and I always call her when I wake up from a nightmare or need calming down.” Bella blinks at him, a little surprised. Jack is impossibly dry, dangerously unimpressed with everything, and overwhelmingly kind. She’s never seen him scared, terrified to the point of needing to be calmed down. “Do you know why I’m telling you this?

“No,” Bella says, attention completely on him.

“The lesson is to not be afraid to ask for help.” He bops her head, laughing quietly when she swats at him. “Bella, three months ago you could barely speak and almost had panic attacks when someone other than us touched you. You once punched someone in the stomach because he touched your feather dress. Hell, you were hyperventilating when I first had it mended. You’re out of your shell, but you have no resources going for you. We both love you, but you have to accept that you need our help. I can get you a job if you really want one, or you can apply for one yourself. I don’t care. But please just ask us for help, alright?”

Bella grimaces at the papers but puts the pen down. “Alright. It’s just. I don’t think I could go to sleep right now.” She gathers the papers in her arms, bringing them into her and Erica’s room with Jack following, laying them down on the dresser. Erica stirs, eyes fluttering open.

“Bella? What are you doing up?” she mumbles, already falling back asleep. Bella chuckles, giving her a light kiss on the lips. 

“I can’t sleep, Go back to sleep,” she says, hushed, and runs a hand over Erica’s hair. “Love you. See you in the morning.”

“Mkay,” Erica breathes, almost noiselessly, and turns over on her side, falling back asleep instantly. Bella stares at her with a silly smile, reaching out to pull the blanket further up her girlfriend. Erica is beautiful under the moonlight, her hair turned silver and her skin nearly glowing. She looks like a sorceress caught in a moment of vulnerability.

Jack clears his throat, wearing sweatpants where he once would have been wearing boxers. His expression shades towards amused. “If you lovebirds are done, I would like to get started on our walk.”

Bella rolls her eyes good naturedly but walks over to the doorway nonetheless, closing the door behind her soundlessly. “Let me get my coat,” she says, and grabs the silver, puffy coat from the couch, slipping it on with her boots. “Okay, let’s go.”

Jack opens the door, keys chiming in his hands, and closes it as soon as he can. “I’m not paying to heat up the outside world,” he says in response to her questioning look, and locks it up. “Alrighty. Where to?”

Home. Home to the lake and the river and the fresh snow. Home to the swans and the ice on the water. Home to where she could provide instead of struggling to keep her head above water.

“How about the lake?” she says, and doesn’t say anything more as she turns on her heel, trotting downstairs. She loves Erica with everything she has, adores her with every single inch of her, but -

But a part of her will always be a swan, always be that loud, aggressive swan that butted heads with anyone and everyone who so much as looked at her wrong.. She wonders if their grandmother felt that way until she died, wondered if she longed for flight until she fell into the darkness and never woke up again.

“Hey, Jack?” She stares at the stars, her breath coming out as a cold mist. “What do you think of magic and curses?”

He tilts his head, keeping an eye on the sidewalk below them, on the lookout for any ice. “I think that I would be pretty cool if it was real,” he says. “Why?”

Bella bites her lip, nails digging into her thighs. Erica painted them yesterday, giggling because Bella always messed up and got the designs wrong. “No reason,” she says, voice tight as she hastens her pace. “Just curious.” The lie burns her tongue, tastes like ash, and she swallows it back. She has a reason. She doesn't know how to say it without seeming crazy.

“Look," Jack says as he snags a bit of fabric from her coat, “whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?” His face turns troubled. “Does it have to do with why you never mention your family?”

She nods, hops over a crack - _you’ll break your mother's back,_ Erica says in her head - and keeps on going, faster. She's going to be running if she goes any quicker, and his grip loosens enough for his fingers to slip away.

“Bella? Bella!” Jack follows and grabs her shoulder, spinning her to face him. “Look, shorty-”

“Not short,” she says automatically, and he scoffs.

“Five foot two is short,” he replies, like he always does, then shakes his head. “Whatever. But I know something’s bothering you - I know you, Bella, and you’re a terrible liar.”

Bella refuses to face him, jerking her shoulder out of his grip and shoves her hands in her pockets. She needs to get to the lake, needs to see the place she called home for a number of years, and she won’t answer him until she’s there. She sprints, not slowing down, and eventually Jack is a speck behind her. She needs advice and comfort, and her friends can’t provide it the way her family can.

Her sister is there, floating on the water when she arrives, out of breath and with her eyes stinging. “Sister,” she says, and drops to her knees, holding out her arms. “Sister, it’s me. I don’t know what to do.”

Her sister gets out of the water, waddling over to her and resting her head in her lap. She hisses softly in question, and Bella folds around her, burying her face in her feathers. “I fell in love,” she says, and it’s a confession, a declaration, and her sister remains quiet. “I want to provide for her. I want to make her happy and give her things. But I can’t - I don’t have any way to. I don’t know what to do.”

Her sister grunts, gently pulling on her hair. She can hear the kind scolding she gives her, because that’s how her sister is. She would make a good mother.

“I miss you,” Bella says, and it tears out of her throat with claws, makes her heart bleed. “I miss you and I want to come home, but my home is with her too.”

Panting reaches her ears, and her sister whirls out of her arms, spreading her wings wide in aggression and hissing. Bella turns, hair sliding over her shoulder and cheeks wet with tears. “Jack?”

Jack’s cheeks are red and he has his hands raised in front of his chest, backing away from her sister with caution in his eyes. “Bella? What’s going on?”

Her sister shifts in the way Bella recognises - it’s the position before she attacks - and grunts. Bella launches herself forward, tugging her sister close to her chest. “Sister, this is my friend,” she says, and it’s loud, desperate, and her sister quiets, eyes still locked on Jack.

_“Sister?”_

Oh no. Oh no, no, _no._

Bella hangs her head as her sister nips her cheek in reprimand. “I deserve that,” she mutters, and her sister honks in agreement. She raises her head to stare at Jack, her brows pulled together in what is nearly fear. “And yes. I said sister,” she says, and it’s a challenge hiding her absolute panic.

Jack stares at her, surprise painting his face, before he sits in front of her, palms flat on the frozen grass. “How is she your sister?” he demands in bewilderment.

Bella moves her sister to her side, running a hand through her feathers. Feathers that she _used_ to have. “I’m a swan,” she says, and watches as Jack’s expression flips between shock and pity. “I got cursed by a witch to become a human in the wintry months two year ago - in this case, it would be from November to March,” she says in answer to his unasked question. “The dress you found me in? Those are my feathers.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just stunned. You’re saying that a _witch_ cursed you? Why?” Jack asks in astonishment, and Bella shrugs helplessly.

“I think she was just angry,” she says. “She looked young, maybe late teens. She probably got broken up with and I was a good target. Witches don’t generally get to see the outcome of their spells unless their victims seek them out.” She clears her throat. “I never sought her out.”

Jack breathes out. “Okay, so witches are real and you’ve known this.”

“Well, yeah.” She tilts her head. “They’re very rare, but all animals know of them. Their actions cause large scale disasters most of the time, so I never saw anything.”

“Is there any way we could reverse this?” He waves her...well, everything. “I mean, wouldn’t you rather be a swan?”

Bella makes a face. “That’s the thing,” she says, “I don’t know anymore. I love being a swan, but I love being human too. I love you and Erica and I don’t want to lose that. Swans mate for life. We can die of heartbreak. If I leave, then I may literally die.”

Jack presses the balls of his hands into his eyes. “Okay, so we need to find the witch and ask her questions about the spell she used. Okay, we can do this.”

“I don’t know her name,” Bella says awkwardly. “She just sorta - cursed me and then left.” At Jack’s dismayed noise, she frowns. “Well, I know that if someone takes my feathers I won’t be able to turn into a swan again.”

Jack stops moving. “You mean like a selkie?”

“I - yeah.” Jack’s always been smart, so Bella isn’t startled by the fact that he came up with that connection.

He looks at her, eyes full of wonder. “So, theoretically, if you gave someone your feathers, you won’t be able to become a swan again?”

“Yes.” She looks down at her arms, imagines them as never being swings again, and cringes. “But I love being a swan too.”

"Could you turn back if you give it to someone, they gave it back, you could turn into a swan again? And then take it off yourself?”

“I’m not..sure. It’s been a long while since this happened.” She looks down at her sister, who’s been silent this whole time and merely staring at Jack with a scrutinizing eye. “Sister, do you know?”

Her sister nods. Bella isn’t particularly shocked by that - her sister always knew things that nobody else knew. She’s into the obscure knowledge. “So can I?”

Another nod.

Bella sucks in a breath, elated. Jack throws his hands into the air, cheering with a grin. Bella laughs and sweeps her sister into a hug as she stands, spinning on her heel. “I can be both,” she says, and it’s a whisper of relief, of terror being let go. Her sister rubs her head against Bella’s chin, then grunts to be let go. Bella quickly obliges, not particularly wanting to be bitten today.

Her sister walks to the lake, getting into the bitterly cold water, not even bothered. “Thank you!” Bella says as loud as she can, Jack shouting the same next to her. Her sister nods, then disappears from sight. Bella supposes that she went back home to her nest.

Jack suddenly gasps. “Do you know what this means?”

Bella faces him, raising an eyebrow. “No.”

Jack’s answering look is completely devious and wholesome at the same time. It’s an odd look, no doubt, but he makes it work. “You can give your feathers to Erica for Valentines Day.”

Bella doesn’t move a muscle as it sinks in. She has a solution to her months old problem and she has a gift for her girlfriend.

“This is amazing,” she says, and Jack nods, almost frantically.

“Yup! Now can we go home, I’m literally freezing. Look at my fingers.” He shoves them in her face. “They’re red.”

Bella bats them out of her face, rolling her eyes. “You’re such a baby,” she teases, and walks home, Jack complaining of the cold the whole way about the _damn subzero temperatures._

 

\--

 

Valentines Day dawns upon Bella by Erica giving her flowers and chocolates, being incredibly affectionate, and dragging her kisses all the time. Jack makes faces the entire time, which only makes Erica snuggle her more.

“I love you,” Erica cooes, and Bella giggles, giving her a kiss right back.

“Love you too,” she replies, thinking of the dress made of feathers hidden by her jacket. “I have something special for you.”

Erica laughs, bright and pure as a bell, and lets go. Bella gets to her feet, heading to her room. Jack meets her in the hallway, face serious as hell. “What are you going to say?” he asks, and she shrugs.

“I’ll wing it,” she says, and he barks out a laugh at the pun. “But, seriously, I’ll just tell her outright.”

Jack nods once, and she passes him, picking up the bundle of black and white. She takes a deep breath, clutching it tight. “I'm ready,” she says, and it's a prayer and a wish all in one. “I'm ready.”

She turns on her heel with her feathers in her arms and leaves behind the possibility of Erica not accepting her. After all, they were in love, deep in love. Bella loves Erica with everything she has and she knows that Erica loves her the same way.

She takes a step into the living room, where Erica is waiting, and waits for the next chapter of her life to unfold as she explains.

 

\--

 

A year later, Bella is behind the counter at her bakery, waving goodbye to the last customer of the day. Erica comes up from behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and laying her chin on her shoulder.

“Hey,” Bella murmurs, tilting her head back. “Get your writing done?”

Erica kisses her on the cheek. “Yep. Get the baking done for the day?”

“Yes.”

A beat of silence. “Do you want to fly tonight?” Erica says, looking down at her. She isn't afraid that Bella will fly away and never come back.

Bella laughs. “You know me so well,” she says fondly.

“Well, I am your wife,” Erica says, wiggling her hand at her. “I would like to think that I know you.”

Bella laughs at that, pulling away and grabbing the dress hanging on a hook by the kitchen. “I'll be back for dinner,” she promises. “And tell Jack that he can visit whenever. I haven't seen him in a couple weeks - I miss him.” It's the truth. After they moved out and into the apartment above the bakery, Bella had missed him terribly. Him and his snarky commentary. Erica had showed her the benefits of living alone soon enough, and now they only visit once every week.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were in love with him,” Erica mocks, a smile on her lips as she picks up her phone.

“Never,” Bella promises. “I'll only ever love you.”

“I know,” Erica says with a small smile. “Now get out of here. And tell your sisters I said hi.”

Bella gives her a salute, then her feathers mold to her skin, and she's a swan again. She yaps goodbye and takes wing, flying out the open window, into the wide, open sky.

She gets it now. Why their grandmother became human and stayed human. It was love, she thinks, and goes higher into the clouds.

Bella tilts her face into the sun and flies.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Did i build the characters up right? Please tell me in the comments, because comments are always loved and brighten up my day and are saved in my Gmail.
> 
> (Plus I worked really hard on this so I would appreciate some feedback.)
> 
> Also! Here's my [Tumblr.](http://nikescaret.tumblr.com) Come visit and chat with me if you want!


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